Where Rihanna Went Wrong

If the year 2009 was anything comparable to the success of 2008 for music giant Rihanna, she would clearly need an "Umbrella" from making it rain. Who would've expected (or thought) that her highly admired and closely watched relationship with Chris Brown could turn so ugly -- and faster than you can say "Disturbia!!" 

The old adage says "there's a THIN line between love and hate" and it couldn't be more true. Naturally, many women were outraged (and rightly so) at the physical abuse reported continuously on worldwide news outlets. Then we were bombarded with the "leaked" photos, some claim were fake or altered, some say were the real thing, showing a disfigured Rihanna, badly bruised and scared with the emotional hurt written over her face where if words could talk, I'm sure it would have read "is this REALLY happening to ME??!!" Unfortunately, yes, it DID happen to you Rihanna, and physical abuse/domestic violence happens to hundreds of thousands of women every day. In fact, over 600,000 women are domestic violence victims each year. In a nutshell, one out of every four women will experience some form of physical abuse -- that's 25% of us. 

In 2013, we learned that Rihanna and Chris Brown had reconciled, and in fact, rekindled their relationship -- this is where Rihanna went wrong, and not for the reason(s) you think. Although I'm a big fan of Chris Brown, I do not in any way condone any type of abuse -- physical or emotional. However, the intricacies and intimacies of relationships are very tricky, where in any relationship you experience both highs and lows -- we tend to share "the lows" more often than the highs and these are the thoughts we as friends (or the public and media) are stuck with -- sometimes forever. A man can be one of the most caring, sweet, unselfish boyfriend or husband, yet that one time when he was unable to control his anger and called you "a whore" or cursed you out -- and we shared this with a friend or the world, he is forever deemed a monster. Yes, some ARE monsters -- but for the most part, they're simply -- wait for it -- HUMAN. 

Yes Rihanna SHOULD HAVE sought medical attention; Yes Rihanna SHOULD HAVE filed a Police Report; Yes Chris Brown SHOULD HAVE been arrested, plead guilty to, and ordered mandatory Domestic Violence Counseling; but what Rihanna SHOULD NOT have done, was let the world know the intimate details of their relationship until she was over being angry -- whether she decided to reconcile with Chris or not -- reacting out of anger always equals the wrong decision. Simply put, when this horrific event happened, Rihanna spoke openly to the media touting how much "she hated Chris Brown" -- and the sympathetic public full of empathetic women, hated him as well. Then something happened -- which NATURALLY happens over time -- you heal; As more time passed, and the distance between she and Chris prolonged, she was able to move beyond her "emotional decisions" to a place where she can make clear headed choices. Her choice? to forgive Chris Brown -- not so easy for the millions of people that you have invited into your world whose hearts were still bleeding for you -- they wanted blood, justice and a life of misery for Chris.

I understand and "get" Rihanna's decision 100%, and if the truth be told by women (versus piling into the group think band wagon), they'd admit it too -- they would've forgiven Chris Brown as well, and a majority of them would've returned into a relationship with him. Love can be wild, passionate and sometimes even crazy -- you don't have to agree or get it, but it JUST IS with an AMEN (whether you think so or not in my late Pastor's voice). See we ALL have skeletons and trash in our closets -- they're in the closet so that no one from the outside can see that you have unresolved issues, old wounds, deceit, betrayal, and secrets; but if we knew about them wouldn't our opinion change? Of course they would -- this is what I'm saying about Rihanna and Chris' relationship. 

So whether they decide to stay reunited or break up -- it's THEIR CHOICE and THEIR BUSINESS. They've got to live for themselves and remember that NONE OF US have a heaven or a hell to put them into. It's called "DO YOU", and regardless what you decide Rihanna -- Please don't stop the music!