I TRULY believe that EVERYTHING in my life -- the good, the bad, and the ugly has been all for a purpose -- a future revelation that God will reveal to me at a specific time, later in my life. The answer to "why didn't my biological father make an attempt to find his daughter", was revealed 43 years later -- today -- he is found.
You see God set this all up in motion years ago when He gave me the idea to start an asset recovery and funds locator company called Unclaimed Finance. One of the main functions of this business is to identify and locate through "skip tracing" methods (similar to that of a vehicle repossession company). With the advances in technology and massive amounts of personal information being made available through the internet as well as other private software subscription services, you can locate almost anyone.
I finally had been given a full name, and I knew that he lived in New York -- that was my starting point. Using my subscription service for my business, I found a hit on the internet for Roland -- so I made the call at 9 pm on Monday, June 24th, 2013. The person on the other end of the line was a young gentleman, he didn't provide a name, gave very scant information, but acknowledged that he did in fact "know Roland" and that he received mail at his house. I quickly realized that in order to "get information, you have to give a little information"; that's when I disclosed that I was calling "to try and locate my biological father". Leaving my name, deceased mother's name, telephone and mobile phone number, the telephone call ended, but not before I asked for at least the "courtesy of a phone call to advise whether the message was successfully passed on".
I slept in late this morning until about 9 am to the wakening of the house phone ringing -- I immediately noticed that the same number had attempted to contact me on my cell phone as well. "I don't know anyone from a (347) area code I thought to myself" -- perhaps it's a recruiter calling me for a consulting job. I answer the phone -- it was him -- it was Roland -- it was my father.
I've waited for at least 20 years of my adult life wondering "what would I say to Roland if I ever had the opportunity" -- today was my chance. One of the first things that I needed resolution to was the obvious "why didn't you try to find me?". For years I swore without a doubt I knew the answer to this question of which there could NEVER be any appropriate response to bring the type of solace that I required -- I was wrong. While there were and still remain a few missing pieces of information, I had to make the choice to either a.) neurotically focus on these finer points and continuously beat the issue to death or b.) relax -- relate -- release; in other words "que sera sera" (that will be, will be). I decided to take the later approach -- and forgive. My Pastor once preached a sermon about "The Power of Forgiveness", in which he said "forgiveness releases one's indebtedness to another" -- my father no longer was indebted to me for the past -- any of it, he was now released of the debt.
There is truth to "nature vs. nurture" -- I was never raised with my father and never knew anything about him until today, yet we shared MANY similarities -- from his prior military service (I always dreamed of having a career in the military; at age 18 I took the entrance placement exams in which I scored exceptionally high, however upon my physical examination I was disqualified because of my asthma. We both are avid learners -- he spoke very eloquently, and I've been told I do the same; if I could be a "career student" I would be in my zone as I enjoy every step of the learning process. There were many more similarities which only peaked my curiosity even more to get to know him a little bit better.
I was touched by the fact that at one point during the call, he experienced an "emotional moment" where he cried and said "he truly believes there is a God above, and feels overwhelmingly blessed at this moment in time" -- I concur. It was important for me to let Roland know that I have been blessed to have GREAT PARENTS who love and care for me as if they were my own biological parents, but always encouraged me to look for him. We made tentative plans to meet face-to-face in New York on this coming Saturday, along with my children and husband -- let's see what the future holds for us, I'm willing.
.... oh and that "nameless guy" I made initial contact with? turns out he's my brother!
The search is over -- now the healing begins. HyperSmash
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